The Paradox of "Self-Control"


"Self-Control" is a paradox...

Something known as
"Vicious Circularity" or "Dialetheism”...
a statements that can be both true and false simultaneously...

When we are in
(control of "self") that's when we are the most "out of Control"
yet when we allow God to be in control
His "Self-Control" becomes ours...
Then and only then does HIS Fruit in our life produce "Self-control".

Lord, today - I surrender my "control of self" to you
Let your will reign in me - so all the world sees is you...

I love you Lord...



Ben and Mary Andrews


Evil Is No Match For Good

Schoolyard Revenge1

Sometimes, we receive the opposite of what we expect, as our good deeds can encounter an evil response. Some of those we have served seem to have forgotten our faithfulness, and gratitude has faded from their memory. They forgot the fantastic fruit from our labors, and it has become all about what might inconvenience them. You were there for them at their point of need but now in your need, they reject your request. It seems like a cruel joke. How could they forget your loyalty and the investment of some of the best days of your life? Yet, this export of evil is just what you are experiencing. There is a relational trade imbalance, as you are the brunt of an evil inequity.

So what do you do when you are repaid evil for good? What is your response? Our flesh screams foul and our anger wants to attack. How could someone show their appreciation for our good will with apathy and disassociation? We want to instantly repay their ingratitude by inflicting some type of loss or pain. How you respond in this moment of deep disappointment will reveal your true character. Anyone can act like a Christian as long as everything is going his way. It is easy to be nice when everyone else is nice. However, when supposedly mature leaders let us down, and even respond to our requests with hostility, what we do next defines our true self. This is a test of our dependence on God.
When evil intent is injected into a relationship, we must resist firing back with equally evil actions.
We cannot lower ourselves to this kind of schoolyard revenge.

The question is not,
“What is the right thing for them to do?”
The question is, “What is the right thing for me to do?”

You can reverse the force of the verbal jabs by returning good for evil. When you choose not to fight false accusations by accosting your accusers, you repay good for evil. You trust the truth will come out at the right time, in the right way.
When you choose to forgive the malicious actions of insecure and mean men, you repay good for evil. When you pray for ungrateful souls to see God, you repay good for evil.

Above all else, anchor your hope for justice to be done in Almighty God. The Lord can take care of the business of dealing with evil people and their actions. Wait on the Lord to settle matters as He sees fit,
especially if you have the power to crush someone. Trust Christ to take them down in His timing. Your window of reprieve is their opportunity to repent, so be patient. You would want this same grace extended to you.

Schoolyard Revenge2

Evildoers may never change, but they might. It is a heart issue between them and God. In the meantime, when you encounter evil, repay it with good and then trust God. The goodness of God trumps evil, for evil is no match for good.

The Bible says, “If a man pays back evil for good, evil will never leave his house” (Proverbs 17:13). It’s a choice!

Jennifer Walsh Falcon2
Jennifer Walsh Falcon


Blanket of Love Ministry

Please Check out this awesome post from our sweet Friend Denise

We celebrated my birthday on September 3rd!  The biggest gift I got this year was LIFE!!!  What a blessing to see where I've come from being diagnosed with leukemia on February 12th!  It was the best birthday ever!!!  A whole new appreciation for sure!!!  In the past, I never thought about "what if I got cancer" ... when you are healthy and you rarely go to the doctor, it's just not something you think about!  I am extra thankful and feel so blessed to be where I am today!!!  My sister reminded me the other day that my treatment was supposed to end around October!  I was back home finished with treatment on June 30th... that is a HUGE miracle!!!

I am thrilled to share that the new "Blanket of Love" site is up and running!  Thank you to my dear friends Ben & Mary Andrews for all their help!  Ben set up the site and did an awesome job!  Here is the link to the site:   It is a tax deductible gift.  I even have some churches donating... my goal is to expand this to other hospitals, so many people can be blessed!  There is a contact area that you can email me if you have any questions.

I was at the clinic today and I told the doctor that people have started contributing and the blankets will be coming soon!  The  doctor had a big smile on his face.  I have to say in the beginning, the doctor didn't realize how special the blankets were.  I heard the doctor wanted me to ask my friends if they would donate to a leukemia fund for the hospital and I said absolutely not!  I said until you are a patient in a bed, you don't know what it's like and those blankets bring so much warmth and comfort to someone!  Since all this time has passed and the patients and the nurses have talked about them so much, he now sees the importance of them and he really appreciates them!  So, that's really cool!  A nurse told me yesterday, the patients that come back for treatment, bring their blanket with them... that's awesome!

There is also a facebook page for the "Blanket of Love" ... here's the link:

It would be great if you can join... our goal is to share with others outside of our circle so they can be a part of this ministry.  Every little bit helps ... $5 or $10 can make a difference and it all helps buy blankets!  

I received a great report today at the clinic ... my numbers looked good and I don't have to go twice a month now!  They also cut my steroids down to 10 mg a day!  Wahoo!  I hope to be done with them completely by early October... I can't wait!

Psalm 18:30 ~ As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.

Jesus Calling ~ Wait with me for a while.  I have much to tell you.  You are walking along the path I have chosen for you.  It is both a privileged and a perilous way: experiencing My glorious Presence and heralding that reality to others.  Sometimes you feel presumptuous to be carrying out such an assignment.

Thank you for walking this journey with us!  I appreciate your prayers more than you know!  There are so many people I know with cancer and I pray for complete healing all the time.  Several of them are facing death and I am praying extra hard for a miracle!!!  

Much Love ~


Denise Pic_1


Five Wagons of Revival…


Robin McMillan: "I Saw Five Wagons of Revival"

When I face certain kinds of spiritual attacks, I have learned to go on the offensive. I lay in bed early one morning prior to speaking in a conference, feeling oppressed and tired even after a good night's sleep. I knew I needed to move in faith, so I began to declare aloud parts of Psalm 91 (paraphrased):
"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty, whose power no evil foe can withstand! I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge, He is my fortress, my God, on Him will I lean and rely, and in Him will I confidently trust! Surely then He shall deliver me from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover me with His feathers, and under His wings I shall take refuge; His truth shall be my shield and buckler."
The power of the Word of God is released when believed and spoken! As I proclaimed these vital verses, the dunamis [power] of God began strengthening my soul. So, I did it again with renewed strength and more conviction:
"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty, whose power no evil foe can withstand! I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge, He is my fortress, my God, on Him will I lean and rely, and in Him will I confidently trust! Surely then He shall deliver me from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover me with His feathers, and under His wings I shall take refuge; His truth shall be my shield and buckler."
Suddenly, I saw in the top of my hotel room a type of open spiritual passageway. I knew instinctively that I could leap into it and be carried into the realm of the heavens. So I did. At lightening speed I zoomed through the atmospheric realm of the prince of the power of the air. I heard demonic voices saying, "Hey, you can't come through here!" I laughed, knowing their attempts to stop me were in vain. I was going, and that was that!
I landed in the heavens in a shadow-like place under a huge dark wing at least 12 feet tall. Tennis ball-size and larger precious stones beyond description exuded from the enormous wing. Gold and silver particles and other precious metals were coming out of the wing. I had never seen anything like it before. I was confused. At first I didn't understand why the place was so dark. I thought angel's wings would be white, but then I realized something.
Had I not just boldly proclaimed that I would dwell in the secret place of the Most High and abide under the shadow of the Almighty? Had I not declared that He would deliver me from the snare of the fowler, you know, the bird catcher? That's quite a promise for a man named Robin! Had I not emphatically proclaimed, "He shall cover me with His feathers, and under His wings I shall take refuge"? I was not under a massive angel's wing but had found refuge under the very wing of the Great Eagle, the One of whom I had been proclaiming.
Five Supernatural Wagons and Their Meaning
In that place the Lord authorized me to bring back and release five wagons of divine substance. The first one was a wagon called "Deliverance from Deserved Consequences." The second wagon was called "Deliverance from Criticism and the Critical Spirit." The third wagon was called "Hope." The fourth wagon was called "Provision." The fifth wagon was called "New Vision for the United States."
One characteristic of this kind of spiritual encounter is that you instinctively know things. I knew I would find the significance and understanding of the wagons in the story of the amazing restoration of Joseph to his father Jacob and his brothers, recorded in Genesis 45. A significant part of the restoration occurred because of wagons Joseph sent to his father to prove he was alive.
And [Joseph] sent to his father these things: ten donkeys loaded with the good things of Egypt, and ten female donkeys loaded with grain, bread, and food for his father and for the journey. Genesis 45:23
Then they went up out of Egypt, and came to the land of Canaan to Jacob their father. And they told him, saying, "Joseph is still alive, and he is governor over all the land of Egypt." And Jacob's heart stood still, because he did not believe them.
But when they told him all the words which Joseph had said to them, and when he saw the [wagons] which Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of Jacob their father revived. Genesis 45:25-27, emphasis mine
Joseph's words and Joseph's wagons had this effect on his father: "The spirit of Jacob their father revived." That is the first time the word "revive" is used in the Bible. In the context of this encounter it speaks volumes. These five wagons, when activated, have the potential to release revival and restoration. Joseph is the clearest type of the Lord Jesus in the whole Old Testament. Some students of the Scripture had found over 80 similarities between the two. For instance, the disciples thought Jesus was dead, but He was alive and Lord of All. For 22 years Joseph's family thought he was dead. He was not only "not dead" but alive and lord of all Egypt.
Our hearts and this generation will revive when we see the amazing resources of Heaven that Christ Jesus has provided for the world as represented by these five wagons!
Wagon #1 – "Deliverance From Deserved Consequences"
The first wagon was called "Deliverance from Deserved Consequences." Jesus loves people so much that He wants to set them free from their bad choices and decisions. Perhaps you did the wrong thing, you made the wrong choice, yes, you sinned – but, Jesus wants to set you free from what you deserve and the consequences of your actions.
Wagon #2 - "Deliverance from Criticism and the Critical Spirit"
The second wagon was called "Deliverance from Criticism and the Critical Spirit."
Jesus can set wounded people free from the effects of people's criticisms to become who He says they are. That wagon is also intended to deliver us from being critical. Remember, Jesus also warned that we would be judged in direct proportion to our condemnation of others.
Wagon #3 – "Provision"
The third wagon was called "Provision." God has provided for the needs and desires of His people. It's all in Heaven. In Matthew 6:10, Jesus taught us to pray, "Your Kingdom come...on earth as it is in Heaven." That means that what happens in Heaven should happen on earth. There are no poor people in Heaven; no sick, nor depressed either! We can access all that Heaven contains.
Wagon #4 – "Hope"
The fourth was a wagon called "Hope." Hope is an indispensable commodity. It is the foundation for faith, for "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). The Apostle Paul said that hope anchors our soul. Hope secures our entire mental welfare and energizes our life of faith! Hopelessness is the fruit of believing lies. Jesus said we would know the truth and the truth would set us free. One who accurately knows Jesus and believes the truth is filled with a hope that cannot be extinguished!
Wagon #5 – "New Vision for the United States"
The fifth wagon is called "New Vision for the United States." In the story of Joseph, Pharaoh provided the very best place in all of Egypt for them, called Goshen, which means "drawing near." James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." If our nation will draw near to God, He will draw near to us and change our nation! I believe that is going to happen in the United States. We are on the verge of another Great Spiritual Awakening that shall once again reshape our nation.
Activating the Five Wagons
Why were these heavenly blessings in wagons? Wagons are pulled by something called "the tongue." You must properly use your tongue to access what's in them. The wagons I saw were huge, ancient, wooden ones with wheels having big wooden spokes. You could say they were "spoken" wheels. How we use our tongue and our spoken words are so important:
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (Proverbs 18:21),
"For with the heart man believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation" (Romans 10:10).
Each of us may access the contents of these heavenly wagons by believing in the existence of their substance and speaking their reality by an agreement of faith. Jesus has so much for us. The reviving of our nation is His intention. Lay hold of these five wagons and see what happens in your life. The time is now.
Robin McMillan
Senior Pastor, Queen City Church
Robin McMillan is the Senior Pastor of Queen City Church in downtown Charlotte, North Carolina, planted on Father's Day of 2010. He previously served MorningStar Fellowship Church as director of the Fellowship of Ministries and Fellowship of Churches for three years, then as Senior Pastor of the Fort Mill, South Carolina, congregation for more than a decade.
He believes our nation is on the verge of the next great spiritual awakening. His passion is to awaken the Church to the power of the Spirit and enable Believers to discover how they can access the realm of the Heavens, enjoy the presence and power of God, and be empowered to live a supernatural life. Outpourings of the Holy Spirit, outbreaks of joy, and demonstrations of power and healing often accompany his ministry. Many are being impacted by Robin's unique preaching style and prophetic gifts. He is the author of Mystic MooseTales: Redefining Wildlife, a supernatural allegory written to inspire love for Jesus and the supernatural God of the Bible. He and his wife Donna have been married 35 years and have four children and four grandchildren.

Robin McMillan


3 Things to Hold on to in a World Falling Apart

On a Thursday night, the two of us wake and lie under the pelting of the roof with a thousand lashes of glass.
His fingers find mine.

I half smile in the dark. How he knows, how
the way to live through life’s lashing is to lash yourself to love, to God. The ice whips on at the windows.

The wind slaps. Trees creak loud.

As if you could freeze Spring over.







As if the fiery lake it self could just right freeze over, and what if that was a thing?

For hell to freeze over and evil to cease and the bombs and explosions and houses of horrors and the bluing everyday suffering that goes on down the street and across town and right now close, to just sheet over placid and still. Yeah, that. Please?

By Friday morning, nothing turns on.

Not the lights, the heat, the water. Just the crazy loud kids. You can see it from the kitchen, how the lines are downed and iced sheathed and the world’s turned off, gone stone deaf.

And that’s what you want, to turn off that blaring TV and those nattering talking heads, rip out the power lines to the news and the streams of headlines flashing callous, get numbed and shut down and eat another big square of chocolate with your fingers slid through someone’s, wait till Somebody stops the madness, stops the chaos, and just brings spring.

Cold, Mama… everything is ice cold out there Mama.

Ice swathes every blade of greening grass. The clothespins are entombed shut. Kids hold up tree buds mummified in glass. The world seems upended, disoriented, wrong.

Narnia, Mom! The land of the white witch, always winter, never spring…. Levi holds up a broken branch, and I shake my head, no. No.

The lane’s a sheen, answers so slippery.

When it’s hard to keep your footing is right when you have to keep your faith.










All of Friday and Saturday and Sunday, for over 60 hours, there’s no hydro.

Sunday morning, the farmers with no hydro, they drive in late like us, park in the country chapel’s gravel yard, and one by one, they fill the sanctuary, us, the women and the kids and
the men without power knowing where to come, knowing that when you don’t know, you still know where to come. When we were powerless…  

And I watch farmers’ hands, gnarled and work creased, how they raise them and fold them and slide them into pockets,
the powerless who can do the powering thing and  come.

Monday, a bomb goes off and then another one, and we stagger, life on this side of the race is hard right to the finish.

And Tuesday
there’s Gosnell and we’d rather turn away  and in bearing witness, we bear the weight of glory, of God who bears sins and rises, and redemption requires testimony.

Wednesday night a cloud lifts the sky over Texas and balls of fire fly and marriages wither and headlines scream and babies cry and prodigals run farther and who can even ask why?

Whole sheets of ice slide off the roof and everything’s falling and fallen, turned upside down, and in our falling, in all our falling —

there’s only one Tree reaching out of the sheer rock face going down.

You’ve got to reach for the only Hope.

In the midst of the pelting and the exploding and all this breaking, we grab hold of the One Tree, the Tree on which He hung, and we hold on to Him with all we have, those beams stretched wide open to catch us.

There’s nothing else to hold on to but God.

But who knew in the falling, when we thought we were reaching —  the limbs of that Tree, that love, were reaching for us.

In our falling — it’s the Tree that catches us.

It’s the Tree that’s holding you.
When you’re trying to just hold on, is when He’s really holding on to you.

God. has. it. 

He has you.

Instead of explaining our suffering, God shares it — because He knows mere answers are cold and His arms are warm.

The tips of the branches drip all across the fields.




And the woods weep.

And the cold and the bloodied and the messy are held.

The kids stand under reaching limbs, the weeping, their cheeks wet.

And through the washing tears of the world, we see and taste the tears of God.


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